the inner brilliance blog
the inner brilliance blog
The Closeted Perfectionist
Have you ever had that experience where it feels like the universe is trying to beat you over the head with something? Yeah, I’ve had a few of those in my life, and the last week or so has been no different. Apparently I’m a little slow on the up-take and need constant reinforcement. This weeks universal lesson was about letting go of that little nasty little gremlin called Perfectionism. If you’d called me a perfectionist a week ago I would have laughed my guts out! I’m usually operating somewhere between slightly organized chaos and a complete nervous breakdown, but apparently there’s a perfectionist hiding deep down inside...who knew?
It took me over a week, and a session with my own coach, to realize that I’ve been beating myself up for not being a “perfect” coach for my clients. The crazy part is, there’s no such thing as a perfect coach!!! Coaching is a messy and often uncomfortable process because it’s real, and raw, and deeply personal. As a coach if you’re aiming for perfect that means you’re not getting into the mess with your client, and you’re definitely not being authentic. That’s the opposite of the coach that I want to be!
Courage, Compassion and Connection
I’m a really big fan of Brene Brown, and in particular her book The Gifts of Imperfection. In the book she writes, “It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection.” I really thought about those three words...courage, compassion and connection and how they apply to me. What I discovered is that I need to have courage in order to embrace my imperfection, compassion for myself when I do make a mistake (and that’s going to happen a lot!) and a connection with the inherent imperfection of all my clients who are just like me. Wow! What a blinding flash of the obvious. No wonder the universe kept giving me shots, this is good stuff!
If this little “kick in the pants” lesson from the universe sounds familiar, and you’re a perfectionist like me (that’s so weird to say out loud) let’s connect and find your gifts of courage, compassion and connection. The universe will love you for it!
I was watching the movie Jumaji 2 this weekend with my family. Staring both Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Kevin Hart both in the movie we knew it would be a funny one, and it didn’t disappoint!
In the movie, the 3 teenage characters get sucked into a real-life video game and have to play to win in order to get out. They very quickly discover that they each have a tattoo on their forearm, with 3 solid black bars, representing their lives in the game. Each time they “die” they are immediately brought back to life, and one of the bars on their arm disappears.
Of course, as they near the end of the movie they each find they only have one of their life bars left, which is a scary proposition. Lose that last bar and it’s GAME OVER! One of the characters has been stuck inside the movie for 20 years, paralyzed by the fear of losing his last life. He finds himself existing, but not actually getting anywhere, let alone back to reality. These 4 people must now work together, and combine their talents, to win the final level and get back to reality.
It occurred to me, this funny, family movie has a great point. We all only have one life! We play the game everyday knowing that there are no take-backs and no tradesies. There are often no second chances. Not everything we do ends in a big, flashing GAME OVER, and a “waa, waaaaa” sounds like at the end of video game, but today’s choices definitely impact what life looks like tomorrow. Even when we make a choice to do nothing, paralyzed by fear and our negative inner critic, we are still choosing, but not actually living.
At the end of the movie, the teen characters work together to take one final, calculated risk so that they can end the game on their terms and return to their modern lives. So, when you think about how you live today, are you someone who doesn’t want to take that risk to save that one life-bar you have? Are you trapped in the game just desperate to get out?
Sometimes to take those big risks in our lives we need help. We need someone who can help us challenge our assumptions, embrace the risks, and encourage us to take that leap. A coach is just the person to help you do all of those things that will get you back in the game and use the "life bars" you have left so you get the most out of the adventure!
I’ll be honest, the last several months have been filled with fear for me. I left a company I loved, a career I’d built for over a decade, took my 10-year plan and crammed it into 1-year, and started my own business, all within a few months. Yikes!! Each step forward on this epic journey was filled with fear and sent my anxiety into overdrive. There were many times I thought for sure I would completely fall apart.
Looking back I think the thing that kept me going through all of this was was my overwhelming curiosity. As much as I was nervous and anxious I just couldn’t wait to find out what would happen next and how things would look tomorrow. I was intrigued by each new tool or technique I learned and couldn’t get over how many neat new people I was meeting! My fear didn’t disappear as much as my curiosity seemed to push it out of the way. I just couldn’t wait for the next new thing...even if it terrified me!
Amazingly enough, after that tsunami of change I’m still standing, and the truth is I’m still scared. I have no idea what the future holds and if I’ll be successful as an entrepreneur. I just keep moving forward, approaching anything that scares me with curiosity, knowing that I’ve made it this far and am resilient enough to handle whatever's next.
I was lucky to receive some amazing coaching throughout my journey and if you’re looking to change your fear into curiosity, and are determined to face your challenges in a more productive way, personal coaching may be the approach for you. Let's connect for a 30 minute Inspiration Session and start transforming that fear into something you can really use!
Three ways to salvage your New Year's resolutions.
You may not know this but Valentines isn’t the only important day in February. There’s another significant day this month...Quitter’s Day. February 12th is Quitter’s Day because it’s about 6 weeks into the new year, and that’s just enough time for most people to have given up on their new year’s resolutions. In fact, only about 8% of us are likely to achieve our resolutions each year. That’s an astonishingly low number. So what can you do to stick to your goals this year? Hire a coach of course!!
Get A Coach
So how can having a coach help you capitalize on your resolutions this year? First of all a coach will hold you accountable. Goals always carry more weight when you have someone to hold your feet to the fire! If you’re like me, I am totally not capable of doing that for myself. I need someone who will keep me honest, motivated and show me how far I’ve already come. As a coach that’s one of my favourite things to do for my clients.
Set SMART Goals
Secondly, you’ve got to have a goal that's smart. I don’t just mean that it makes sense or has a cheeky catch phrase, I mean it’s SMART. Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timely. This slick formula helps create a goal that has meaning, works for you and is something you can track. In my coaching practice it’s fun to take a client’s big, audacious goal and then turn it into a SMART goal that we can really tackle.
Deep Deep and Find Your Resilience
Last, but never least, you’ve got to have resilience. Even if you’ve already dropped that gluten-free diet, given up on the gym or quit looking for that amazing new job, it’s not too late to turn it around! A coach can help you stop beating yourself up, figure out what you’ve already learned and get you back on track. Often we learn more from our mistakes then from our achievements and during my coaching sessions I find it’s important to focus on what my client’s know now and leverage that energy.
So, if you feel like you’ve lost your mojo and your resolutions are ka-put you’re totally not alone. But it’s also not too late to achieve your dreams this year. Coaching can give you the edge you need to make big things happen so give me a shout and let’s schedule an Inspiration Session and get you back on track.
I was on my way home earlier this week, listening to CBC radio as I often do when I’m in the car, and I happened to catch an interview with NHL Hall of Famer Ken Dryden. He made a particular comment in that interview that has been rattling around in my head now for the past couple days. His comment, and I’m paraphrasing, was that a person's character isn’t grown, or even developed, it is “revealed”. That particular turn of phrase really struck me...what does it mean to have our character revealed?
Of course, Ken was specifically talking about how a tough, gritty game like hockey reveals a competitor’s true nature, but I found this theme continuing to come up in my coaching sessions. As I spoke with different clients, with different issues and vastly different perspectives, the phrase kept entering our conversations…. “character is revealed”. What I noticed is that my clients all had one thing in common; when uncomfortable, unstable or really off their game, increasingly their character continued to shine a little brighter. In fact, by bravely and tirelessly working through the discomfort and fighting through the challenge, that glow got even more intense. Clearly Ken is on to something!
As a coach it was really interesting to me that I could see their glowing character reveal itself, but they couldn’t. I realized it’s difficult to look at ourselves in that way, especially when we are frustrated, fearful or confused. I believe that’s where I can add the most value as a coach, by being a witness, and even a reflection, for my clients. Enabling them to see for themselves and supporting them as they connect to their inner brilliance. That’s the message I certainly tried to leave each of my clients with over the past couple days; that their character is revealing itself, their glow is shining through, and they have all the answers they need.
If you think you want someone to help you uncover your inner brilliance let’s connect.
Today is "Let's Talk" day, in support of mental health here in Canada. Like me, I suspect many of you have been touched by mental illness, whether you struggle with it yourself or have someone in your circle that has suffered.
All too frequently mental illness comes with a great deal of stigma attached, and that's one of the reasons we need to be talking. We do not have to be ashamed, alone and miserable. We can reach out and ask for help. We can connect with someone we know is struggling and provide support. It doesn't take much to connect, listen and open our heart. So today, spend a few moments thinking about how you can start the conversation. #letstalk #notalone
If you ever need someone to talk you I am only a phone call away. Call any time.
I was watching my two youngest kids joke and tease each other tonight at dinner (yes they actually were having fun together) and I was struck by how important it was to be present and witness them at their best. We've got a busy family so just begin seated together was a bit of a novelty. The fact that they were really enjoying each others company leads me to believe that I must be doing something right. But I also had to acknowledge that I'm not perfect, far from it in fact. I'm always working hard as a mom, a wife, a friend and a coach to be my best but perfection has never been my aim. Just being present, watching, smiling and seeing my kids is a simple joy on a Wednesday evening.
For those of you that have wondered "what is personal coaching?" this is it in a nutshell.
I can't make you happy. I can't make you feel fulfilled. I can't change your personal circumstances, get you a new job, or give you a million dollars.
What I can do is help you see your own inner brilliance, challenge your current perspective, ask you questions that encourage you to explore, point out the things you may not see, push you to try things you otherwise wouldn't, hold you accountable when you really need it, and create space for you to explore all those messy, ugly and sometimes painful emotions that are holding you back.
As your coach I absolutely commit to supporting YOU as you create a life that is authentic, wholehearted and 100% what you want it to be...filled with love and peace and magic. Ready to get started?
Three Great Tips for Beating Those Blues
If you’ve been listening to the news at all today you know it’s “Blue Monday”. Blue Monday was originally created as a marketing bit designed to sell beach vacations, not that we need much encouragement at this time of year to plan our escape! Chances are your credit card bill has just arrived, your bank account is looking more red than black, and you are already lamenting that new year's resolution that you couldn’t quite stick with. Whip that all together with a chilly north wind and it might feel like Blue Monday is the real deal.
3 Ideas to Beat the Blues
So how do you beat those blues? First of all, be gentle with yourself. Even if you blew the budget on gifts for the family, or have scarfed back the rest of the holiday baking, don’t worry. Your whole year isn’t a write off! Next, hit the reset button. Change those failed resolutions into intentions; it’ll not only keep you on track but allow you to recover from the occasional “oopsie” throughout the year. Finally, consider working with a personal coach. A coach can help you create the accountability you want and expand your vision of what’s possible in 2018.
If you’re curious about coaching and how it might work for you, consider trying one of my free Inspiration Sessions. In just 30 minutes you’ll get a taste of the impact working with a personal coach can have in your life. I’m confident it’ll leave you wanting more, and together we can make sure the rest of your Mondays in 2018 are absolutely brilliant.
Welcome to our very first blog post here at High Voltage Coaching!
I'm Lindsay White, professional coach & owner of High Voltage Coaching. I want to thank you for being a part of my journey! This is such an amazing moment for me; the culmination of my own personal dream to be a coach as well as to run my own business. I am so excited to have created my practice and the experience has just reinforced to me that I am capable of whatever I put my mind to - and I know I can help you feel the same way!
Just like you, I have times where I feel exhausted and overwhelmed - barely able to focus on my grocery list, much less the bigger picture. But through my own experience with coaching I have rediscovered my personal truths, reconnected with my values, and reignited my own inner brilliance. I want this for you, and I know I can help you create it. Together, I know we can create magic.
Lindsay is the owner and principal coach at High Voltage Coaching. She loves to tell personal stories and share content that inspires others and creates conversation.